Memories.

School days.

While I was sidelined by a serious knee injury in 2006, I decided to go back to school.

I was scared to be back to school after 13 years. But after two lessons I was enjoying studying. It was very different from my Russian school experience.

Most kids in Russia go to school at the age of seven. So on September 1st you can see a lot of kids walking to school, accompanied by their parents.

In my days starting school was a big deal. Among kids, you were not considered to be a "big kid" if you didn't go to school. And you had no say in any games or discussions.

I was really looking forward to go to school. And on September 1st, accompanied by my grandmother, wearing the celebration school outfit I marched to school.

There were many kids in front of the school building, girls wearing white aprons over dark brown dresses with huge bows in their hair. Boys wore blue suites with white shirts underneath. Everyone holding flowers, mostly cut off the nearest flower bush.

From the first day of school, our teacher picked her favorite and her least favorite students. I was among the hated ones. Anything I did was always wrong. I was punished for making other kids laugh. For not sitting straight enough and for not being ugly and stupid. I think I was a major threat to our teachers daughter, who was in our class too, and had straight "A's." Our teacher's favorite punishment was putting me in the corner near the door, facing the wall, and let me stand there for 45 minutes.

On one of my birthdays, I wasn't aloud to come into class. I was outside the door, arranging the candy I brought for the entire class, when the class door closed in my face. When I knocked, I was told to stay outside, because I was late. So I just sat on the floor outside the door, holding a big bag of candy in my lap.

Every morning before lessons, we had to salute Lenin's photo on the wall and listen to Soviet anthem. Than quietly sit down at our desks, resting our arms on it and sit as straight as we could for the duration of the lesson. The rules also included: only a certain amount of pens and pencils and absolutely no jewelry.

Couple of times we had American exchange students at our school. We sang and danced for them. And when the entertainment was over, we were aloud to "talk" to the American kids.

I was always impressed by how clean and well groomed these kids were. They always smiled and smelled good.

Of course none of us spoke English, but we knew one word that meant everything to us-Bubble Gum! It was like knowing some secret word that opened doors to treasure. Every time you said it, you got a colorful little square, that smelled heavenly. I remember carefully opening the wrapping, smelling the gum and putting it back in a secret place in my small room.

When I got to high school, my teacher has changed and I was promoted to a pioneer. I was given a red star for my dress, and a red ribbon to put around my neck. I felt privileged to be a pioneer, not everyone in class became one. You had to be at least a "B" student.

I think it was 1992 when the rules for school uniforms has changed. So instead of dark brown dresses and black aprons we were aloud to wear anything we wanted. For me it was easier than for other kids, I started traveling around the world and had different outfits to wear. But most of the kids I went to school with didn't have the money to buy clothes. And back then, it was easier to buy a couple of uniforms than a pair of jeans and t-shirts.

I changed three schools since then. Trying to find the one that gave me more freedom to travel to my tournaments. My last year of school was at a music school. I don't sing or play any instruments, I was accepted there because I was considered as a famous student. Being one of the best junior tennis players in Russia. And I was aloud to do what every I wanted. I never got to go to prom or a school party, because I was always at some tournament. But one day, while exercising with my dad close to my first school, I saw my first teacher. I called out to her.

She gave me a long cold look and asked my father- "You must be very proud of your daughter?" And not even letting my dad answer turned around and walked away.

When I was little, I used to dread going to school. Now, 13 years later I loved every second of it! The teachers were nice and I studied something I loved-interior design. And since most girls in my class dressed up very nicely for school, dressing up and going there was a celebration!

Continuing.

Ah, El Paso. Didn't stay there long enough to discover anything good. All I know that it was 109 degrees almost every day (probably 118 on court), everyone around us spoke Spanish and altitude didn't let my balls stay in the court.

I lost to the first seed in the tournament and was outta there asap. I played in the hottest hour of the day. My feet were burning and my body was screaming at me to get off the court.

So no El Paso stories. Except for 4 days I was there, newspaper was reporting yet another shooting on the border with Mexico. I didn't know how far it was until the last day, while driving to the airport. "Those houses look like Mexico"-I told the driver. "It is Mexico."-he said. Wow, it was just a few hundred feet away!

Being home was much better. Also hot, people spoke Spanish, but the ball was not flying and there were no border shootings every day.

While in El Paso, I have heard that there is a pre-qualifying tournament for the US Open wild card. And since my ranking of today would not permit me to get into US Open, I have decided to enter the pre-quali.

I have never played anything like this before. Wait, I am laying. I did play the pre-quali of Miami one time. Like in 1998. But it was close to home. This tournament had not much info,except that it was held in Dallas, TX. And it was a bit confusing how the schedule was made. After researching for a while I understood that I was playing on Tuesday at 12pm. I looked at the draw and saw only one familiar name on it.

When I got to Dallas, I didn't know what to expect. I found out that the draw was 64, not 32. There were no referees until the quarters. No water or towels and I had to check in and hour before each match. Hmmm...interesting.

By the time I got to play the "familiar name" girl, I had to win 3 matches and she only won one-60 60. Oh well.

The finals was at 9am. And I am telling you its the earliest finals I have ever played! I got up at 6am that morning. I won the match, and the sectional, but can't say I had it that easy. There was one 3 sets match and 2 well fought ones. Three times I had to get up at 6am, eat the boring oatmeal, and play 3 of my 6 matches. I almost passed out in the semis, because of the heat exhaustion. But I got through it all and was happy about it.

I also won a nice "Olympus" camera, and was instructed to film my preparation for the Playoff finals. It was nice, because most of the tournaments don't even give you a gift anymore. My boyfriend joked, that I got some money back for the trip by getting a camera.

I was exhausted but wanted to fly home asap. Thank God I was able to change my ticket to that same evening. So I said bye to my friends who housed me in Dallas, picked up some peacock feathers from the ground and drove to the airport. I still can't believe my friends had wild peacocks in their back yard! Incredible!

When at the airport I stood in a big crowd outside one of the airport bars and cheered for team USA. I always prefer to play a sport than watch it. I get really nervous. Especially when you want someone to win. They lost. I was sad.

When I landed in Miami, my boyfriend offered to go out. So around 11 pm we hit the Lincoln Rd. in Miami Beach. There were all kinds of people, young, old, with children. All dressed up. "The only time I go out, I am wearing tennis shoes and jeans."-I thought to myself. But I don't think I could wear high heals that evening. I would probably complain with every step I took. (Like I always do when I wear heals) But I have 30 pairs of high heals in my closet. But there is always hope, that some day I will wear them!

Raleigh & LA.

I found some old tennis photos. Wow, I have changed! I was a robot. Winning all that mattered to me back than. I haven't noticed it before, but looking at the photos now I realise how different I am today.

But some things remained. Like my fighting spirit. Doesn't matter what the score is, I will keep fighting. And thats what I did during the last two tournaments.

Raleigh.

After getting through the first round I had to face a girl who I played in Indian Harbour Beach. I retired during that match and now I had a chance to show her how I play when I feel good.

And I did. I won 62 63 and was happy with my performance. I did the same thing she did to me, said "common" after a good shot and run to the chair.

In the next round I faced my old rival Lindsay Lee-Waters. I must've played 8 times against her through out my career. I think one year it was either her, Shenay Perry or Laura Granville.

So I went into the match feeling good about myself, but got a bit tight on the important points, which costed me a match. Still, I was happy with my playing, it was getting better.

After the match my housing took me to see Raleigh. I was really impressed how green and cosy the city is. We even stopped at a bridal store and I had fun trying on some beautiful and soooo overpriced dresses. And for the first time in my life visited a consignment boutique.

Over the week I have made new friends and met a lot of tennis fanatics who help to put a nice tournament together.

Los Angeles.

It's cheap and easy to get to LA, but to move from place to place In LA is hard. There is traffic all the time! And after a very stressful, bumpy flight where I let a scream after an unexpected drop in altitude, I was in no mood to be stuck in traffic. And thank God I didn't, but the next morning.....Oh my..... I was just glad I left 2 hrs in advance.

The tournament was held at the Home Depot Center. I played at this venue many times before as a WTA event just before the US Open. It took a while to get used to the big stadium and windy conditions.

I got to the quarterfinals, coming back from 61 41 down in the first match and 41 down in the second. And lost to Lee-Waters again, but this time in three sets. Maybe next time I will win.

Flight home was long. Its was a choice between a red-eye or a change over. I chose the second one and flew all day. At least there is internet and cable inflight. And it makes the flight seem shorter. So I got to watch French Open and check my emails.

Next stop is El Paso, Texas.

Well....

I left my house to go on 3 weeks tour without any expectations and knowing I am not going to see my boyfriend for a while. I came back with one doubles title and engaged.

It all started with Charleston, one of my favorite tournaments. I played well and was up a set and 4-3, when suddenly I started cramping. I never cramped before and it was scared to move.

I lost the match and cramped for 3 more hours in the training room. I was disappointed, but there is nothing I could do. So I tried to enjoy my time in Charleston by going to the beach, visit a beautiful downtown area and go to the player's party. Where I won yet another piece of jewelry. If I keep coming back to that tournament and win something year after year, I might never need to buy any jewelry for the rest of my life!

The next stop was an 8 hrs drive away, in Dothan, AL. It's a small town with very friendly people. One night we even got invited to a family reunion by a complete stranger. Who thought that we were almost family, because his wife (who died) was Russian. Unfortunately or fortunately, we played finals that day and didn't get to go.

Our doubles draw was not easy until the finals, but we managed to win the tournament, a result I was happy about. And right after the finals it was back on the road again. Driving to Charlottesville,VA.

I didn't get to play singles in Charlottesville because I was one out of main draw and by being in the finals of a previous tournament didn't allowed me to play. Although, when I got to Charlottesville I found out there were 4 lucky losers. If only people pulled out on time, I would be playing both singles and doubles. Oh well!

My boyfriend has surprised me by coming down for one day. He took me to see Monticello (a house of Thomas Jefferson) and later he told me that his plan was to propose there, but my doubles partner came along, so he couldn't do it.

That night, at the players party we got to meet Boyd Tinsley. He is the main sponsor for the tournament and I thought it was nice of him to come out.

All night I was loosing my boyfriend in the crowd. He likes to pull a "Houdini" on me, but this time it was more than usual and I didn't give it a thought. But just before we went to sleep he proposed to me. It was one of the best moments ever, if not the best! Very intimate, cute and unexpected! If you have ever proposed to anyone or have been proposed to, you know what I am talking about.

Of course I didn't sleep all night, to many thoughts and feelings. I arrived at the tennis club with huge bags under my eyes, but happy as can be. We won doubles that day, even though I was really tires. Unfortunately our run ended in the semis, where we lost to number one seeds. And it was back on the road again. I was due to play the next day.

This time it was Florida we were driving to. What a long drive! And even though my doubles partner Anastasia Yakimova helped me drive, I still got to the match exhausted and had to retire. I just couldn't move. It was the same situation as at the previous tournament. I was one out and didn't get in. And when the matches started two people pulled out. It was such a bad luck!

But I still felt lucky. I am engaged to a great man! And I knew what could cheer me up. Looking at the wedding dresses! I didn't have time to go into a store and try them on, but I looked at plenty online. More than 3 thousand. And when I close my eyes its all I see-wedding dresses.

I guess it would be more important to set date and place, and only than look for a dress. But I figured that it wouldn't hurt if I did the opposite.

Traveling.

I wake up in another hotel room somewhere in this world. I look around the room. It all looks the same. Bed, table, chair and TV. I remember making a promise to myself, to keep track of how many hotel rooms I will be staying at if I made it as a pro. But long ago lost count.

I was 12 when I traveled outside of Soviet Union for the first time. Me and other 8 kids went to Italy to play a junior tournament. My mother gave me 2 towels and 3 roles of toilet paper for a week. She didn't know that hotels in foreign countries had all that and even shampoo and soap. Soviet hotels only provided bed sheets, and sometimes you even had to bring those with you.

We landed in Rome, and drove for 5 hrs to a country side in a big yellow van. To a small town the name of which I can't recall. Our one stop on the way was at a gas station. I remember walking in, to use a bathroom, and standing still in front of shelves filled with things.

For several minutes I stood in shock in the middle of a small space. Other kids gathered behind me and were also speechless. All we saw back home were empty shelves in the stores and long lines outside. Sometimes my mother stood in line all night to get me a pair of jeans, without knowing that she will get it for sure.

Grey and black were dominant colors in Soviet times. So for us kids it was magical to see so many colorful things in one place!

When the initial shock was gone we started exploring. Whispering at first and than talking loud, excited to think of what we could buy when we'll have the money. We found courage to touch things. There were toys, dolls, chocolate bars, chewing gums.....Even the car parts looked great to us. There was so much color, it took our breath away!

We lost track of time, when one of our coaches called us back to the van. We didn't want to leave. All of us forgot to use the restroom, and sat quietly for the rest of the way under impression of what we have just seen.

We were only children, but already than we understood that life back home was not as great as we thought. Here, no one stood in line for food. Clothing was available to buy every day in any size and color. People were happy and smelled good. Life seemed to be enjoyable and happy. And back than I knew, I have a lot to fight for, but I didn't know that it will be a long bumpy road before I reach my goal.

Time to get up Alina. Another day, another town. It may have been a long road to get where I am right now, but if I were to do it al over again I wouldn't change a thing!

Memories.

In early '90s, when Russia was starting to open up and change for the better. People were starting to have more possibilities to earn money. Most of them left their normal jobs and became entrepreneurs. So did my father.

Like many other Russian men, my father left his 20 year job as engineer and became a business man. He did everything from construction to import-export. The money was more then he ever made in his lifetime (by Russian standards).

With the money my dad made we could afford a new TV and a washing machine. My mother got her long awaited "dublenka" (sheepskin coat which is really popular in Russia) and I got new tennis shoes and two more tennis racquets.

Of course, being a "business man" was a dangerous thing in crazy '90s. Some people didn't survive, and were killed by their rivals. As many others, my father was also faced with danger of being killed over a business deal. But he chose family over money and I am thankful to him. He is a great honest man, and I am proud to be his daughter.

On one of the sunny afternoons, my father set me down in our small kitchen and said: "Here is a thousand dollars, I want you to go play those tournaments you wanted." It was probably most of our savings we had, and I was hesitant to accept his offer. But I knew that my parents would sacrifice more then that for the well being of their children.

Looking back, it was already a sacrifice living in 43 sqm (420 sqft) apartment in four, for over a decade. It was my parents, my older brother and me. On some occasion my grandmothers would visit and stay for a while. When that happened, my place in the apartment was restricted even more, to underneath the table in the living room. I slept on unfolding metal bed, referred to as "raskladushka" in Russia.

I looked at the money laying in front of me on a kitchen table. Looked at my father. I knew I had to be very careful with spending it. The road ahead was long, 7 weeks on the road, through 4 different countries, I had to pay for transportation, boarding and food. I was only 16 years old but I knew how hard it was for my dad to earn this money and I also knew, these would probably be the only tournaments I would play that year. So I took the money, put it in a pouch and was on my way to start my trip.

The most remarkable adventure of all happened in Budapest, Hungary. I remember taking a train from Slovakia to Croatia, with a layover in Budapest. I got there at 10pm and all the visitor centers at the train station were already closed. And taking a taxi to go to some hotel in the city I knew nothing about was a bit scary. So I decided to stay at the train station and wait till 6 am for my next train.

I found a nice spot in the middle of the station where I can have a view of everything and made myself comfortable on a metal bench. For a couple of hours I did my crosswords and wrote my diary, feeling safe. Then, about midnight I saw a couple of men. They appeared out of nowhere and now were eyeing me. It made me uncomfortable and I hugged the pouch with money underneath my sweater. But than the men were gone the same mysterious way they appeared. I breathed out with a relief.

Another hour has gone by. A man came in the station and walked right to my bench and sat down behind me. I really needed to go to the bathroom, but carrying a heavy bag and my tennis racquets with me seamed such a bad idea. So I turned to a man behind me and asked him in English to look after my bag while I used a bathroom. I knew that I might not see my bag again, but at that point I was to tired and sleepy with my bladder about to explode, that I didn't really care.

Surprisingly when I came back, the man was still sitting on the bench with my bag next to his feet. He turned his face to me and I saw that he was just a couple of years older then me. "You should not be sitting here alone."-he said to me in good English. Happy to see my bag still there, I sat next to him on the bench and we started talking.

He told me he was Romanian. I told him I was English. I didn't know what was the political situation between Russia and Romania, so I decided that England would be a safe choice. But when he asked me where in England I was from, I came up with a first city in mind, Manchester, he told me he has been there. "Oh no,"-I thought-"now what do I do? I have never been to Manchester!"

Thankfully he never asked me my address and I tried to speak with the best English accent as I possible could, to pass for a British girl. Now when I think about it, I ask myself: "What the hell was I thinking!?"

His name was Rado. He told me that he escaped from prison and was heading to a French army. He had no documents and needed a plan to get on the train illegally. The words "prison" already sounded bad enough for me and I moved my bag closer to my side. But I needed to know what he was in prison for? "I killed someone"-he answered calmly. A wave of cold shock run through me. Oh my God, he is going to kill me too!!!! Oh my God!!!

Inside I was screaming, outside I tried to appear calm. I came up with a plan, talk as much as I could so he would have no time to kill me. Talk all the time. And so I did.

Rado carried my bags while we were looking for food, he didn't say much just listened to my crazy talk about weather, food, my cat, my parents. He mostly stared at the road while walking with sad look on his face. I felt bad for him and had a strong urge to hug him. But I just kept talking.

At one of the closed food stands we met a boy about my age. Rado started talking to him. I didn't know what language it was. All I knew I didn't understand any of it, and I didn't like that. So with a huge smile on my face I suggested that we find food and I buy it for everyone.

But all the food stands at the station were closed. So our new friend took a chocolate bar from his left pocket. "We can share it"-he said in broken English. The sound of a familiar language made me feel better and I started talking again.

Our new found friend didn't tell us his name, but was kind enough to tell us what he did for a living. He was a "pickpocket." Ahhh, so nice! Here I am in a company of a killer and a thief, sharing a chocolate bar! I even smiled at this thought and made a joke. " Do I look like one of your victims?"-I asked. "No, you are to nice to steal from."-he answered. And all three of us laughed.

The night was passing by fast. We talked about our lives and dreams. The "pickpocket" gave me his phone number and told me to find him a nice English girlfriend. And when the sun started to come up he said his Good byes.

Rado accompanied me to my train. Helped me to my seat, and stood outside my window until the train started moving. " I know who you are and where you are from!"-he shouted to me-"You are my angel!"

I was looking out of the open window of the fast moving train. Rado's figure was becoming smaller and smaller. "On the contrary Rado, you were my angel tonight."- I said into the wind.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to Rado. And if he was a criminal. But I know for sure, he was my protector during that night. Who carried my heavy bag, listened to my crazy talk and just kept me company. And for that, I am thankful.

Clearwater and Miami.

Clearwater.

The tournament in Clearwater was named after a sheriff, but the ironic thing was, I've never seen or heard so many police and ambulance sirens like I did in one week. There was a car robbery, a missing boy and gas explosion. And to add some more excitement to all of the above, we had a lot of rain. So some girls had to play 3 matches a day.

My singles didn't go so well, but I made up for it with doubles final. And because I was playing finals, I couldn't make it to the next tournament. Which would have been in Mexico. I have to tell you though, I was not looking forward to another Mexican bus ride. Unfortunately it's the best way to Irapuato, Mexico, fly into Mexico City or Guadalajara and then take a bus.

During the tournament I stayed with friends of my friends who happened to be Russian.

They have a beautiful house on Belleview Island with incredible views.

The route to the club was easy, I didn't have any traffic all the way to the club and back. Most people made a turn before the poshy neighbourhood I stayed at. Sometimes I was the only one driving through narrow street looking at the beautiful houses around.

Miami.

Driving back home for 5hrs was not fun, but I was happy to go back. Home is home, doesn't matter how big or small it is. So for the first couple of days when I get home for a trip I like to stay home and some house work. I also like to visit some of my favorite places like a small fishing pier in Hallandale Beach, where you can see fish swimming through incredible clear water, fabric store in Boca Raton that has lots of great fabrics, and new cafe in West Palm Beach that serves delicious 3 course lunch for only $20.

Sony Ericsson tournament started on Monday. I remained 8 out, but still had good time being there. I did an interview with Tennis Chanel, watched some good matches and talked to all of my fellow tennis players. I also wanted to go to the player party, but as I said, I am a party pooper. I usually get dresses, put make up on and then get really sleepy. I remember, it was my first vacation in 17 years, where I didn't bring tennis rackets or running shoes with me. My boyfriend took me to Cancun, Mexico.

All flight long I was thinking that something was missing, even when I picked my luggage the feeling was still there.

Anyhow, one of the nights we went out to a night club and I fell asleep in one of the uncomfortable lounge chairs. From now on we try to go out a bit earlier then other people.

I have another week home, I've decided to take some time off to prepare for the clay season. My fitness regimen is brutal right now. I am doing the old program I used to do when I was top 50.And I am starting to remember how hard I used to work when I was at my best. It's easy to get used to nice things and life, which makes it twice harder to go back to things that were hard but made you better. So if I want to continue playing this year at my best I have to go back to the roots, where it all started.